Still a n+c fag

After getting so much into Hashihime I've been wanting to get into other works by Kurosawa Rinko, UuuultraC is probably going to be the next game I buy once I have money for it and in the meantime I've been reading Ooe demo, it's surpsingly long even longer than demo for Hashihime. As of writing this I haven't finished it and I'm almost 4 hours in. 

One day later I still haven't finished the demo why is it so long, I just wanted to see how it goes and decided not to finish the demo at all, I'll get back to it when they release it in english for now I'm going to go back to Higurashi and finally start Tsukihime. It scares me how I don't think my opinions will change much any more and I'll stay interested in stuff I'm into now. I'm the exact same person I was when I started this blog, I still feel the same excitement seeing n+c related stuff. It does make me a bit embarrassed that my favorite vns are blge and if I'd say it online most people would immiedietly assume I'm female and I'm not surprised because I do the same thing. 

Since this is probably the only blogpost I make before the release of the new pokemon game (unless I post something tomorrow)(From friday untill I 100% it I'm likely not going to do anything else than play pokemon if I get into it as much as I was into violet I'm not even going to sleep) I wanted to talk some more about how much appreciation I have for N+C. Replaying my favorites last year and thinking more about them makes me thing how flawed these vns are and I like them a lot regardless, sweet pool is probably objectively the best but it's so short and lacked other routes, I know it's the whole point but I wish we had gotten at least a real route with Makoto, he was really underdeveloped and had great potential to be a much more compelling character. Also my favorite sentimentally speaking Togainu, kusoge, both locked routes have no substance and are so boring, Nano is a last cause but then could've done so much better with Shiki, he is the best example of if they make the character attractive people won't care about their personality because despite being the most boring and one dimentional character somehow he has the biggest fanbase, the only good thing about his route are the endings, they're not half bad but still none of it was really satisfactory, best ending was probably the one where he's a cripple, very much deserved. Other characters aren't much better, I liked Motomi and his route except the parts where he compares Akira to his son and then procedes to fuck him. I liked Keisuke and his route a lot when I read it for the first time but somehow it really dissappointed me last time and I can't look him the same since. Rin is the best n+c character so they have that in favor of this game and despite there not being that many good parts of it I'll continue to praise Togainu as a literary masterpiece. What sold me on it is the setting, that's what I care about the most probably given how every vinnie I gave a 9 had a gripping atmosphere and great setting (maybe not in case of Higurashi as much but I just can't rate it lower with how much I like the mystery in it, the only part I consider a 9/10 are the question arcs). 

STILL remains the best Kanako Itou song and is also likely a reason why TnC is so memorable to me and I still like it as much to this day.

The music plays a huge role of how I remember games, especially endings and openings, I don't remember anything from Dmmd (We will be rereading sometime soon hopefully) other than Immer sie and how it made me a Kanako Itou fan I am to this day. And a huge part of my memories related to togainu are listening to the opening on the psp emulator as it played over and over if I didn't leave the menu. The psp version of the opening is by far the best and no other version of this song are quite like it I don't know what is it but it sounds different when you play it from the emulator (probably sounds the same played on the real hardware) so I sometimes open it from there just to listen to it. They released the console version on steam this year and even there the opening still doesn't sound quite the same

I'm still not over Minatama

I'm illiterate

Reading Hashihime really made me want to read more japanese literature, I finished reading the only japanese book in my house, was about nothing in particular really but satisfied me at least a little bit with its writing but I'd much rather read older books. I went to the library for the first time in 8 years or more probably, I have a lot of unread books at home and as cool as going to the library sounds I had no need to and I don't like leaving the house in general. I should've been so surprised but they only had around 7 books by japanese authors and half of it was Haruki Murakami which is not anywhere near what I want to read at the moment so I had to choose between Man'en gan'en no futtobouru and some other stuff from later showa and as much as I'd give the football one a try I don't think I'm quite ready for a history lesson about world's most boring sport (other than anything made by americanoids) (I have no idea if this book is really about football in 1860, that's what the title suggest but it didn't look like it when I skimmed through it the title just scares me). I ended up picking Kawabata Yasunari's Yama no oto which was probably the oldest thing they had there.I'm really starving for something closer to the Taisho era so I ended up buying a book after all - Kotou no Oni by Edogawa Ranpo, it's the only thing I haven't read by him that was published in polish and his other works are one of my favorite literary pieces of all time, it has to be kino as well. 

My favorite book of all time being japanese shouldn't come off as a surprise to anyone, I don't think I'd ever find a book as good or better and that says a lot because I don't even think this book deserves a 10/10 I give it, the end was really shit (Battle Royale btw). It's probably the single most entertaining piece of media I've consumed which should be hard for a book, I could stomach 100 episodes of boring anime, read a 30 volume boring manga, sit through a 100 hour long boring visual novel but I can't stand boring books, I don't drop anything so I would eventually finish even a boring book but it makes me pick books more carefully than anyother media because of this. When someone writing style is shit it's pure suffering and it feels like world has stopped and I'm having a stroke. Best exaple of this is Henryk Sienkiewicz, I'd rather be in an endless loop where I die painfully over and over again than have to read Quo Vadis again, I swear It took me over five hours to get through 70 pages (and I'm a fast reader). I think why it's such an important piece in Poland and it's mandatory to read at school is solely because there once was someone who said it was a masterpiece and made someone else read it and they couldn't finish it but because they thought it would make them look stupid they just went with it and said it really was a masterpiece so now every modern person has to suffer.

Despite how I might seem I don't exclusively read japanese literature (not saying I won't) and only 2 out of 4 my favorite books are japanese, the other two are Nikolai Gogol's Overcoat, I adore his prose, it's probably the best written thing I've read but I guess not everyone can write good all the time because Dead Souls on the other hand was one of worse, not in terms of prose but it was so painfully boring the prose could've been as beautiful as possible and I wouldn't give a single fuck about it, what I'm glad is I managed to even finish the book. I'm not going to mention my 4th favorite book because it was written by an americanoid and that's just embarassing. A part of me enjoys feeling like a more educated and sophisticated person just because I know some fancy words. I want people to see me as a smart guy that knows everything (I do) and just think of me better than I am in reality. I don't even read a lot, I prefer playing video games or reading vinnies obviously, just the few times in a year I read a book I act really pretentious about it :D

As of writing this I'm listening to my discover weekly on spotify and because I don't have any related pictures to add to this post I'm going to post a niche song I like (not from my discover weekly)

the VNFag vinnie

 Reading Hashihime made me realized how miserable is reading higurashi and other stuff I read recently in comparison. I thought I just couldn't focus on reading for a longer period of time but I have no need for breaks and when I'm not on my computer I found myself thinking about how much I want to go back to Hashihime and I feel the same despite finding Kawase's route underwhelming, right now he's my third favorite character behind only Tamamori and Minakami but I only just started Hanazawa's route so things may change. Although I doubt it because finding out Hanazawa doesn't give a shit about them doesn't do him any favors, for now I'm mostly looking forward to Hakase's route despite having mixed feelings about him his route should at least be interesting. 

I love how many literary references are in Hashihime, it makes me want to read so much I'm desperate for taisho era books, anything, no matter how boring and I even liked In'ei Raisan so really anything would do, in the mean time I have to be contempt with the single only japanese book in my possesion which I haven't read, it's not even mine and is way too new for what I'm craving for right now but I can't afford getting any new books. I would go to a library and I really want to but I still have a book I didn't give back since 7th grade and I'd rather not show my face there. I especially crave anything by Kyuusaku but they ever published only two of his works in polish which I read one of and didn't like, I'll try to get my hands on the other and maybe it'd be better. Hashihime made me feel really smart when they mentioned things I read and gave me a deeper understanding of what they're referencing, given how I tend to reread fagge I'm not opposed to rereading Hashihime after reading more titles they reference and this should say a lot because I haven't even finished it and I very rarely reread/rewatch/replay anything and it's mostly a waste of time for me. 

I'm writing this one day after I wrote the above. I finished Hashihime, the stark contrast of what I wrote previously and what I want to say about the other three routes of this game is funny. Hanazawa's route was so bad, I think I was having a stroke reading the whole thing because I don't remember what the plot point even was all I know is that I hated it, Is Hanazawa really stupid or something? Because why does he say how he never cared about them (including Tamamori) and he only hung out with them because he thought he was doing a good deed but five minutes leter he says that he has always loved him and then procedes to rape him wtf I really admire Kurosawa Rinko's prose, how she can write very compelling characters and banter between them, how she can write something so atmospheric it makes me consume more taisho era media and learn more about the things she references, how she can write a very fullfilling satysfying romance (Minatama) and then she wrote Hanazawa's route. Hashihime would definitely benefit for not forcing "romantic" relationship will every major character, it could've developed Hanazawa's character more, explain more. 

Hakase's route was way better, I didn't mind the way they up romantically involved, it was done and explained in a way to not taint the rest of the vn so much but what I actually liked in this route was Minatama holy, I wish this route would've ended with Tamamori jumping off Juunikai. The best part of this route was easily Tamamori confessing his love of Minakami and all the gay shit they said to each other, it was rather nonsencial how right after that Tamamori runs of to Hakase.

And then there's incest, thankfully it took me less than an hour to read and half of it I could've even considered funny and it felt like a fandisc with how stupid which is for the better because since it wasn't very serious it's easier to ignore when rating the whole story. I stopped caring for it the second Kaoru appeared, reading about their relationship was really off putting. 

Minatama saved me and is probably my favorite canon (suzalulu doomed yaoi keeps winning) BL pairing now. I'll be finishing reading whatever shit japanese book I picked up yesterday because it was the only japanese book in this house I haven't read and I'll try Ooe demo. I believe in your power Kurosawa Rinko-sensei don't dissappoint me.

Hashihime ruined me

 I feel the same like I felt years ago back when I first read Togainu, gayge are just something else, I feel like I'm having a stroke just thinking about it. I want to do nothing but read Hashihime, I'm done with Minakami's route, it's probably going to be my favorite although I don't know what to expect from the rest. I like how pure their affection for each other is and how they gradually get to how they are with each other at the end. 

I've missed feeling this passionate about a piece of media, I might've rated Lamento the same as Togainu but I don't have nearly as much affection for it even though it has my favorite n+c pairing. When I got into Togainu it felt like I was going crazy and would explode because I liked it so much and it was hard to find anyone who even knew what it is and I know Hashihime is really popular in its niche and vns in general have been getting more popular as of recenly (fuck off newgens everyone can tell and it ruins the media for everyone (me, I know it's a me problem and I'm not going to pretend it's not)) but I'm equally as crazy about it. I want to read it so much I set an alarm early just so I'll have more time for reading. Hashihime save me.

I'm extra broke this month and probably will be for the next few months unless I manage to get some work done but if Hashihime doesn't disappoint me I'm very likely going to get uuultraC right after and If this continues I don't know if I can hold off Ooe untill mangagamer localizes it. It's a shame my boyfriend doesn't have any interest in adelta's work and we can't really discuss it like with n+c. If I could pull an all-nighter I would just so I could finish Hashihime by the end of the week. With the amount of excitement I feel about it I don't think it can dissappoint me.

Because this post isn't very long and too positive I want to rant about how much I hate newfags who ruin my hobbies, I don't care that half of them couldn't have learned about it when it came out because they weren't born, I wish everyone kept to themselves and stopped making everything awful. Sure it's nice to see fan content for series I enjoy but I'd rather like something that has no fans than obnoxious ones that I disagree with, P3R is the worst thing that has happened to me and I haven't recovered because why did people suddenly start having interest in persona 2 and persona has been so popular and mainstream for at least 10 years already than you really have to be a trend chaser to get interested in it only after reload game out. Not being active on any platform other than facebook has to be the only thing keeping me from blowing up. Can't others enjoy what I like? No unless it's on my terms, I am self aware and don't care how obnoxious I am saying this. I find it funny how people use the word "gatekeeper" as an insult as if anyone that is one would see it as negative. 

Gay, insane, unemployed. Just like me fr

 I am not joking when I think about I do have too much in common with Tamamori except him writing could be considered at least a little bit productive. Why are the screenshots so fucking small, like the actual resolution of the game is shit I can see every pixel which made me question if the game really was intended for pc, it's not even that old, older vns I played had better resolution that this. 

I have played the demo on the switch long time ago so I remember some things from back then, my thoughts about characters haven't changed, I'm barely two hours in but so far I think I like Hikawa the most, he really reminds me of Clear just a bit more unhinged. Not surprising considering he likes Kyusaku Yumeno's works, I read one and it was so bad anyone who likes his work has to be mentally challenged. I know it's yaoi but I'm surprised how gay it is from the start, I like to think that Minakami did jerk off to Tamamori's manuscripts, Hikawa too

I have had my eyes on Ooe for a while, I don't know how much I'm going to like Hashihime but so far I would for sure pick it up the second it gets translated, I might get UuuultraC once I'm done with this too, I really like how many references to actual places and things about 1920s Japan they make and if they do the same for UuuultraC then even if it's not the best I'd probably enjoy it for the atmosphere at least. 

Last time I remember reading a vn for more than 3 hours straight was when I was finishing chaos;head noah and it wasn't even because I liked it so much I just wanted to be done with it. If I didn't have to go to bed I'd probably read now untill I was passing out I need to know what happens next, I can't remember last time when I was this hooked on a story

How it feels reading yaoi kino

Higurashi Console Arcs Part 3

 In case it wasn't clear this blog isn't for people, it's for me and me only I just talk to myself like I'm multiple people. 

I'm not actually reading.

My Rena figure I said I would show. I got it used in box although the box is really beat up and falling apart I like the way it looks. Should've also taken the picture of it now that I think about it. 

I don't like the box they did for higurashi and umineko but it's fine, not the best physical copies but it's still better than digital, even without the usb stick and cards with the steam code I would've bought an empty plastic box with a piece of paper as a cover for the same price, don't let physical media die. For fata morgana I got the deluxe edition with the soundtrack because I have free will. 

I have yet to find a fitting place for all these things, I would like to get Higurashi Daybreak limited edition on psp with the figures and more manga, light novel volumes and set up a dedicated higurashi shrine but I don't have the money, time or space for that now

Rika looks so fucking stupid.

I finally got around finishing Yoigoshi and so far it's definitely the best of console arcs, I like how we get to know backstory of each character, Akira's such a scum I got to start Someutsushi only for like an hour though because I got something better to read I'm going to talk about in the next post.

Why is the laundry manga getting an anime now

For the past week I've been struggling to focus on anything, I finally sit to play a bit of Yoigoshi today, other than that I played Kokurase, all 4 chapters and a side story (don't). I really liked the premise and it sounded original enough to make even the first chapter interesting although compared to the rest it's pretty weak, I was surprised that the rest of the chapters explored and build the characters and overall story more instead of being unconnected stories. It's a shame most non-japanese players probably won't ever play chapter 4. For some reason they decided not to translate it, real shame because it was the second best (after chapter 3) and made me like Meg and Genji way more and overall was very different from the last four. I strongly suggest trying to get through it even if you don't know japanese well, it was suprisingly easy and fast to go through and it's probably first thing I finished in japanese other than the laundry slice of life (Kirei ni Shite Moraemasu ka.) which someone decided to stop translating after not even half way through. 

I miss rpg maker games, I need to play more, other than Kokurase last time I remember playing one was halloween two or three years ago when I binged like 4 horror ones back to back. I might consider getting Misao on steam just because It's one of my favorite rpg maker horror games and I wouldn't mind replying it. 

I wish there was at least one more chapter of Kokurase with some more character developement from the other two kokurase members and I won't rest untill Meg and Genji end up together. Also the side story "S" was so bad, I hated every second of it thank god it was less than an hour long, I hate the new character, I hate what they did with the reoccuring ones and I hate the gameplay. rythm game my ass, none of it focused on the actuall rythm and it wasn't fun or interesting just janky and irritating. 

I also played Trials of Harmony and it gets so lonely here but I'm a bit ashamed to talk about anything that isn't japanese or anime enough. 

Back on topic, Yoigoshi has potential. I like seeing where characters end up after some time after the original story so it was cool to see Mion? back, I though it was her mother at first but the age didn't really add up, I couldn't even play for an hour today, I can't focus on it for longer.

dumb ass penguin book